Inapporpriate Wedding Songs

Local radio station KFOG played an all wedding song 10-at-10 today. One of the songs reminded me how many songs get played at weddings that are really completely inappropriate if you actually listen to the lyrics. Here are a few that are likely not to played at our wedding:

I Knew the Bride When She Used to Rock and Roll – Nick Lowe
This was the aforementioned song they played this morning:

She used to do the pony…
She used to wanna party
She used to wanna go

So basically you knew the bride when she was a slut, and based on the “secret smile” line, you did her too.



I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor
This one pretty much speaks for itself, and yes I’ve heard it at weddings. There’s nothing like a song about a horrible break-up kick start your life together.

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore

Brick House – The Commodores
This song might have been played at every wedding I went to this summer. I wasn’t keeping track, but it seemed like it. What’s this song about?

The lady's stacked and that's a fact,
ain't holding nothing back…
She's the one, the only one,
who's built like a amazon…
She knows she got everything
a woman needs to get a man, yeah.
How can she use, the things she use
36-24-36, what a winning hand!

That’s right, a song about the bride’s rack. Nice… I guess it’s appropriate depending on the bride. Although, I don't know about you, but I don't know many woman who would take being called "a amazon" as a compliment.



Let’s Get It On – Marvin Gaye
Aside from being a little to sexually explicit for your average wedding, this song has three possible interpretations, none of which are particularly wedding appropriate.

The first two interpretations stem from the song being all about a man trying to convince a woman to sleep with him even though it’s “wrong”. If you’re of a religious bent, this could simply mean he wants to have premarital sex. Otherwise it’s a song about infidelity. Perfect for a wedding.

What’s the third option? I’ll let this snippet of lyrics tickle your imagination:

Beggin' you, baby, I want to get it on
You don't have to worry that it's wrong
If the spirit moves you, let me groove you good
Let your love come down

Know any more?