So advanced

We've paid for almost our entire honeymoon already: plane tickets, lodging, and rental car ($15/day through Hotwire! It cannot be beat), and it's all been this week, so it's been a VERY expensive week. On the upside, though, by the time August rolls around we won't have to worry about these large expenses (fingers crossed, of course).

Meanwhile, my wedding band came into the shop today! Less than a week after ordering--very cool. It's verrrrry simple, basically the same as my engagement ring (same width and everything) but without any sort of setting or stones. Perfect. They're closed tomorrow, Sunday and Monday, so I'll have to remember to go pick it up next Saturday. Exciting!

See ball: it rolls

Gosh--we've done so much wedding stuff in the past couple weeks! I picked up my wedding dress (it came in a month early!), we assembled and (as of today) mailed most of our Save the Dates, we went back to Mills with our officiant (Susan, Alan's best friend and a wonderful awesome person) to show her the space and talk about the ceremony and our ideas. We looked at (and ordered) a wedding ring for me, talked to the jeweler about sizing Alan's great-grandfather's ring for him (the short answer is...Alan has to think about it), and, as of last night, booked our plane tickets for our honeymoon in...dun dun dun!....Hawaii!

Weddingy things still to do: get Alan some pants (or a whole new tux), get me a head thing and some shoes, flowers, cake/pie/dessert, invitations, drink-holding things, create a registry, and probably other stuff I'm forgetting. What am I forgetting? Oh, who knows.

Getting the ball rolling

My lovely, wonderful and talented (!!) friend, Rachel, mailed us our completed Save the Date cards from her cozy home in Seattle earlier this week, and they arrived yesterday! Despite Alan being out of town, there was no way I was going to wait until Monday evening to open the package. So I opened it and texted him to let him know they came. It was my own private compromise. And they are AWESOME. They don't have any of Rachel's glorious artwork on them (because we wanted to keep them super simple), but we'll be adoring them with two funny little stamps we picked up on Fourth Street.

And Rachel, I am going to pimp you out a little bit for the 4 people (including yourself, haha) who read this blog: go here to see some of Rachel's amazing work. You can purchase prints of her work, greeting cards with her images on them (some quite festive!), or commission her to do, well, many things!

This means, of course, that we now have to actually finalize the guest list and gather addresses from everyone. Good times!

News to report!

It's perhaps a bit strange that I ordered my dress so far in advance, but when you know what you want, you get it! And I did. It was originally not supposed to be in until mid-February (still plenty of time to get it altered, etc.), but I got a call from The Wedding Party today saying it's come in early! And I made an appointment to pick it up in 3 weeks (our schedules do not match up well).

I am so excited. I can sort of understand how all those women on Say Yes to the Dress feel, having not seen their dress in a while. And while this is DEFINITELY less than the year that those dresses take), I've never seen my dress in the material I decided upon, so it's a bit nerve-wracking. Clara tells me that it's beautiful, that it turned out wonderfully and is so pretty, which helps a bit (but I also think, you see wedding dresses every day--and aren't they always that way?).

If I hate it, I can always get something else, since it wasn't very pricey. BUT I keep trying to picture myself in something long and different, and just can't do it.

Dress, I will see you in 3 weeks!

It's quiet, but all's well

Boy, it's been a while since we posted anything. We haven't been very focused on wedding planning since Alan and I have rarely overlapped on time at home (awake and/or with clear minds) since...Thanksgiving. Right now, we're deciding on what we would like the Save the Date cards to look like, but that's about it.

And, personally, because I can't speak for Alan, I've been fretting a bit over what to do with my extremely un-bridal hair. It's short, and it's going to be short, and that's just the way it is. I'm of two minds about a veil, but it seems impossible to find a place to try one on, just to see what it looks like. I'm thinking of ordering one online, but what if I hate it? Fret, fret, fret.

Otherwise--life goes on! My show closed last week, Alan's closes this weekend, then we have a week, then Alan goes to Michigan, so the first weekend in January will be the first time since early November that we'll spend a Friday and Saturday night together without shows! Huzzah.

Social networking gone TOO FAR

If Alan even THINKS of doing THIS during the wedding ceremony, there won't be a reception because we'll be too busy getting the marriage annulled. Immediately.

And one more thing (this gets its own post)

We booked our photographer! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the synergistic, incredible, lovely and talented...

Emily Takes Photos

Because she is AMAZING. And her photos are AMAZING. And et cetera ad infinitum!

Epiphanies abound!

We are truly doing cake and punch (or pie and sangria, or pudding and lemonade, etc. etc. etc.) during the reception. Truly, truly, for real for real. We sat down and looked at the budget again last week after a couple months of not looking at it--during which time we put down deposits on the location, my dress, the photographer, and a couple other things--and had to take a moment and catch our collective breath. All of a sudden, we're having a moderately expensive wedding! Not outrageously so, thank god, not even probably what most wedding-planning-people would think of as expensive, but it was a bit of a shock to us. And so, after talking about doing hors d'oeuvres [sic, for the love of god, sic] or box lunches (and LADIES! If you are having lunch after your wedding, the BOX LUNCH is highly economical!), we're going to go with our original old fashioned plan.

I know there might be some eye rolling and scoffing at this plan, perhaps a bit of, "we came all the way out here for this?" but the people we care about the most--and who care about US the most--(hopefully) won't care. Or shouldn't care. Or will think it's awesome. I think it's awesome!

You are regretfully invited...

Click on the image to see the full invitation in all it's glory.

Invite courtesy of http://wedding-invitation-wording.co.cc/wedding-invitation.jpg

This is exactly what ours will look like. Except Alan is not a doctor, and I am not a cheap two bit tramp. So, other than that...

Psych! Kidding. Also, I don't have a nut allergy. But this IS the first image that comes up when you google "wedding invitation wording." Just so you know.

A tempest in a tea pot

Weddings are beasts, and I'm going to go ahead and put it out there: we're having a small wedding. And there will be family (on both sides) that won't be invited, and there will be friends (on both sides) that won't be invited, and there might be wailing and tears and the rending of garments and the pulling of hair at the injustice of it all. But we want a small wedding, and Alan has a lot of family, and I have a lot of local people, so decisions have to be made, and at the end of the day, we want to keep it small.

Why do we want to keep it small? Well, cost is a factor. Cost is a major factor, even though we're not doing favors and don't have to subsidize parking or anything. We'll be feeding everyone light hors d'oeuvres, yes, but it's still expensive. Plus, we would like to actually have the possibility of spending time with our guests, some of whom will be coming from very far away. But mostly, it's because neither of us enjoy being in the spotlight, being on display, and we don't really see why we should invite every single person we have some sort of relationship with, because weddings are about coming together with the people you know and love best.

So, yes--we aren't inviting people. It's not personal, it's just our preference.

What's Behind a Tradition?

Photo from the State Library Queensland, Australia

As previously stated, there are number of things we’re not planning on having at the wedding. The only one that I felt a tiny twinge about was the “first dance”, even though it really doesn’t fit with our wedding or our personalities. I got to thinking though, what is it about a first dance that I find appealing or meaningful? What’s the point of the first dance?

I don’t think it’s to show off the happy couple’s dancing prowess, nor is it meant to be a big grandiose performance. Suddenly turning a wedding into an episode of Glee or a Bollywood movie might be fun, but it doesn’t really have anything to do with what a “wedding” actually is.

To me a wedding is about standing up in front of everyone you know (or a portion thereof) and declaring that this is the person you’re going to love for the rest of your life and then celebrating that love. Traditions like a first dance give the guests an opportunity to witness the happy couple in love. It’s an intimate moment, but one that’s still socially acceptable to watch, where people can see the couple interacting and (hopefully) showing their love for each other through their body language.

The “clink clink smooch” thing serves the same purpose, except it surrenders control of the moment into the hands of your guests which can be highly unfortunately if they’re drunk and obnoxious.

But now, knowing the point of the first dance, we can look for other opportunities to serve the same purpose in ways that our more us. Ways as simple as holding hands as we walk around the reception, or more formal like cutting the cake. That's another moment when we see the bride and groom interacting in an intimate moment: feeding each other (which is of course why smashing cake in the person’s face is obnoxious unless that’s really how the two of you express your love for each other).