Thursday, October 29, 2009
This will NOT be necessary
I can't believe there's a guide for how to pee in a wedding dress. Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I can believe it! Behold the glory: How to Use the Restroom in a Wedding Gown.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Wedding Hair
It's hard to have wedding hair when (dun dun dun!) one gets the shortest haircut of one's life!
And no, I don't plan on growing it out. It would be such a horrible awkward length if I did. Plus, my hair laughs at curling irons and doesn't really even try to hold a curl but gives up in confusion (you want me to do what?! Like hell!).
Fascinators FTW! Like this perhaps, or this for a bit more color or THIS!
The problem with Etsy, of course, is the constant updating of pretty things.
This is all just to say that I got my hair cut on Saturday and asked for shorter and it is SHORT but I like it. I still jump a little when I look in the mirror (I can see my ears! My ears are exposed!) but I like it.
And no, I don't plan on growing it out. It would be such a horrible awkward length if I did. Plus, my hair laughs at curling irons and doesn't really even try to hold a curl but gives up in confusion (you want me to do what?! Like hell!).
Fascinators FTW! Like this perhaps, or this for a bit more color or THIS!
The problem with Etsy, of course, is the constant updating of pretty things.
This is all just to say that I got my hair cut on Saturday and asked for shorter and it is SHORT but I like it. I still jump a little when I look in the mirror (I can see my ears! My ears are exposed!) but I like it.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
This is crazy!
Our appointment at The Wedding Party was cut short on Saturday because one of the ladies (consultants? I don't know what to call them) was really sick, and the woman who was helping us had to take her to the emergency room.
Guess what was wrong with her. Seriously. Ok, fine, I'll tell you--she had APPENDICITIS! And she had to have her appendix removed that night! Isn't that nuts? Good thing she was taken to the ER!
But it's all ok--they sent me all the information I need via email, and we have a new appointment for this coming Saturday so I can finalize my stuff (and pay), and so Emily can look at wedding dresses for her own wedding in March. Huzzah!
Guess what was wrong with her. Seriously. Ok, fine, I'll tell you--she had APPENDICITIS! And she had to have her appendix removed that night! Isn't that nuts? Good thing she was taken to the ER!
But it's all ok--they sent me all the information I need via email, and we have a new appointment for this coming Saturday so I can finalize my stuff (and pay), and so Emily can look at wedding dresses for her own wedding in March. Huzzah!
Monday, October 19, 2009
Eyes for color!
Emily and I went to The Wedding Party on Saturday for a variety of reasons that don't all pertain to this blog. It's a small but gorgeous boutique on College & Alcatraz in Berkeley that carries about six or seven bridal and formal wear designers. Everything they sell is lovely, and most of it is well priced, plus the ladies who run the place are fantastic.
Anyway. Unforeseen and unfortunate circumstances caused our appointment to be cut short, but fortunately not before I was able to see how the 3 colors Alan and I tentatively picked for our ladies dresses look together (that is a very long sentence). The colors look GREAT! I'd ordered 6 swatches off the Lynn Lugo website based on colors Alan and I both like (we are bipartisan in wedding planning). We played around with them before settling on the 3 we thought were best. It was a great relief on Saturday when I was able to see 2 dresses (one orange, one pink) and a large piece of (blue) fabric hanging next to each other, looking AWESOME. Slap a cream colored sash on each one to pull it all together, and we're good to go.
And now that we have that squared away, it's easier to think about flowers and other stuff that kind of depends on color. We don't have wedding colors--we made the specific decision to not have specific colors--but knowing that our ladies will be looking fly in orange, blue or pink definitely helps with everything else!
Anyway. Unforeseen and unfortunate circumstances caused our appointment to be cut short, but fortunately not before I was able to see how the 3 colors Alan and I tentatively picked for our ladies dresses look together (that is a very long sentence). The colors look GREAT! I'd ordered 6 swatches off the Lynn Lugo website based on colors Alan and I both like (we are bipartisan in wedding planning). We played around with them before settling on the 3 we thought were best. It was a great relief on Saturday when I was able to see 2 dresses (one orange, one pink) and a large piece of (blue) fabric hanging next to each other, looking AWESOME. Slap a cream colored sash on each one to pull it all together, and we're good to go.
And now that we have that squared away, it's easier to think about flowers and other stuff that kind of depends on color. We don't have wedding colors--we made the specific decision to not have specific colors--but knowing that our ladies will be looking fly in orange, blue or pink definitely helps with everything else!
Monday, October 12, 2009
So glad we don't get WEtv
We house/dogsat for my parents this weekend (happy 30th anniversary, parents!). They have satellite TV and get a lot of different channels. Alan and I traded off dog watching and tv watching--I watched the dog on Saturday while he watched tv, and vice versa on Sunday. Unfortunately, I spent a great deal of time watching WEtv (a channel we, as cable subscribers, don't get). Specifically, I watched a couple episodes of Bridezillas. It's so awful.
I was going to write a post about it, and how awful these women were, and how awkward it is to watch a show like that, to see anyone treating people the way their families and friends (and vendors, for that matter) ended up being treated. But now that I think about it, and think about what I watched, I can't do it. It makes me uncomfortable to even think about the show--I mean, the producers are completely exploiting these women, and these women (though they may act this way anyway) enjoy being exploited. It's gross. Gross! Ladies: do not play into society's expectations of how you should/are expected to act. Fight the WIC!
I was going to write a post about it, and how awful these women were, and how awkward it is to watch a show like that, to see anyone treating people the way their families and friends (and vendors, for that matter) ended up being treated. But now that I think about it, and think about what I watched, I can't do it. It makes me uncomfortable to even think about the show--I mean, the producers are completely exploiting these women, and these women (though they may act this way anyway) enjoy being exploited. It's gross. Gross! Ladies: do not play into society's expectations of how you should/are expected to act. Fight the WIC!
Friday, October 9, 2009
Inapporpriate Wedding Songs
Local radio station KFOG played an all wedding song 10-at-10 today. One of the songs reminded me how many songs get played at weddings that are really completely inappropriate if you actually listen to the lyrics. Here are a few that are likely not to played at our wedding:
I Knew the Bride When She Used to Rock and Roll – Nick Lowe
This was the aforementioned song they played this morning:
So basically you knew the bride when she was a slut, and based on the “secret smile” line, you did her too.
I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor
This one pretty much speaks for itself, and yes I’ve heard it at weddings. There’s nothing like a song about a horrible break-up kick start your life together.
Brick House – The Commodores
This song might have been played at every wedding I went to this summer. I wasn’t keeping track, but it seemed like it. What’s this song about?
That’s right, a song about the bride’s rack. Nice… I guess it’s appropriate depending on the bride. Although, I don't know about you, but I don't know many woman who would take being called "a amazon" as a compliment.
Let’s Get It On – Marvin Gaye
Aside from being a little to sexually explicit for your average wedding, this song has three possible interpretations, none of which are particularly wedding appropriate.
The first two interpretations stem from the song being all about a man trying to convince a woman to sleep with him even though it’s “wrong”. If you’re of a religious bent, this could simply mean he wants to have premarital sex. Otherwise it’s a song about infidelity. Perfect for a wedding.
What’s the third option? I’ll let this snippet of lyrics tickle your imagination:
Know any more?
I Knew the Bride When She Used to Rock and Roll – Nick Lowe
This was the aforementioned song they played this morning:
She used to do the pony…
She used to wanna party
She used to wanna go
So basically you knew the bride when she was a slut, and based on the “secret smile” line, you did her too.
I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor
This one pretty much speaks for itself, and yes I’ve heard it at weddings. There’s nothing like a song about a horrible break-up kick start your life together.
Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
Brick House – The Commodores
This song might have been played at every wedding I went to this summer. I wasn’t keeping track, but it seemed like it. What’s this song about?
The lady's stacked and that's a fact,
ain't holding nothing back…
She's the one, the only one,
who's built like a amazon…
She knows she got everything
a woman needs to get a man, yeah.
How can she use, the things she use
36-24-36, what a winning hand!
That’s right, a song about the bride’s rack. Nice… I guess it’s appropriate depending on the bride. Although, I don't know about you, but I don't know many woman who would take being called "a amazon" as a compliment.
Let’s Get It On – Marvin Gaye
Aside from being a little to sexually explicit for your average wedding, this song has three possible interpretations, none of which are particularly wedding appropriate.
The first two interpretations stem from the song being all about a man trying to convince a woman to sleep with him even though it’s “wrong”. If you’re of a religious bent, this could simply mean he wants to have premarital sex. Otherwise it’s a song about infidelity. Perfect for a wedding.
What’s the third option? I’ll let this snippet of lyrics tickle your imagination:
Beggin' you, baby, I want to get it on
You don't have to worry that it's wrong
If the spirit moves you, let me groove you good
Let your love come down
Know any more?
Thursday, October 8, 2009
But--it's a WEDDING! CUE THE DOVES!
I started a post about traditions over on Tumblr before we decided to move the blog. Specifically, of course, wedding/bridal traditions. I didn't finish it--I kind of abandoned it--but it's a topic I find interesting. Not always interesting in a positive way, usually more like in a car cash on the freeway kind of a way. Wedding traditions are a massive subject, with some staying fairly constant and others changing and morphing from decade to decade or year to year.
That said, Alan and I have been to 4 weddings this year. Each was different from the last--a beautiful, fairly casual affair in a gorgeous backyard in Napa, a fancy oceanside event in Santa Monica, a relaxed and homey Baltimore wedding, and a pretty traditional (there's that word!) Catholic ceremony with glitzy reception in San Jose. We had a grand old time at each, hanging out with friends, congratulating the happy couple, and, most importantly, making lists of what we liked (and might do at our wedding) and what we weren't so keen on.
What follows, wedding purists, is a list of some stuff that we'll probably shove by the wayside:
That said, Alan and I have been to 4 weddings this year. Each was different from the last--a beautiful, fairly casual affair in a gorgeous backyard in Napa, a fancy oceanside event in Santa Monica, a relaxed and homey Baltimore wedding, and a pretty traditional (there's that word!) Catholic ceremony with glitzy reception in San Jose. We had a grand old time at each, hanging out with friends, congratulating the happy couple, and, most importantly, making lists of what we liked (and might do at our wedding) and what we weren't so keen on.
What follows, wedding purists, is a list of some stuff that we'll probably shove by the wayside:
1. The clinking thing (clinking on glasses to get the bride and groom to kiss during the reception. So annoying)
2. The garter toss. Alan just doesn’t know it yet, but I’m sure he’ll agree. Plus—my dress is short. How awkward that would be.
3. The money dance
4. Throwing rice. Does anyone even do that anymore? I don't think Mills even allows it.
5. Flower girl(s)
6. Ring bearer
7. Not seeing each other before the wedding
8. Unity candle
9. Sand ceremony
10. Unity cocktail (SERIOUSLY, I am so serious, I can't tell you how stupid I think it is)
11. The first dance
12. Guest book (we'll do...something else)
13. cake topper (probably)
14. FAVORS
I'm sure there will be more--those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head. Shock and awe!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Goys take note:
The Giants are tentatively scheduled to play the Cubs in San Francisco the week after our wedding (Monday, Aug 9 through Thursday, Aug 12).
You're welcome.
Buying a wedding
This wedding business is stupidly expensive. We knew it, we didn't enter into it with blinders on, we thought we were prepared. And in a way, we're still prepared. We decided to not set a budget. That's right--this is a no budget wedding! All it mostly means, though, is that we're not shooting for a magic number.
A lot of wedding budgeting books and articles encourage being vague with vendors and ceremony/reception sites. Instead of reception, tell them it's a party! Instead of wedding ceremony, say it's a meeting! Stupid stuff, I tell you. It seems so dishonest and untrustworthy. I think a lot of wedding-related price markups have to do with the vendor feeling like if something isn't expensive enough, it'll be seen as too cheap for a wedding, since most people buy into the Wedding Industrial Complex and like to spend as much as they can on their Special Day (barf).
We thought about prevaricating a bit when beginning to talk to vendors, but then we realized that they aren't stupid: they're going to figure it out. They've probably had these conversations millions of times. And then you suddenly have this relationship that's built on lies and half truths, and really, what good does that do anyone? Just tell the truth--either something works for you, or it doesn't. If you need a better price, see if the vendor can work with you and your different price. If they can't, well, maybe you need to rethink your grand idea. Part of the reason we decided to change our reception place was due to catering restrictions and cost. It was a hard decision, and one we struggled with, but ultimately, we'll hopefully be happier (and have more money for other things). That's what it's about--finding what works for you and making it happen. It might take a bit more elbow grease, it might cause a few stupid fights (...), but as long as you're honest with the vendors and honest with each other, it'll work out. This wedding stuff is serious business, after all.
A lot of wedding budgeting books and articles encourage being vague with vendors and ceremony/reception sites. Instead of reception, tell them it's a party! Instead of wedding ceremony, say it's a meeting! Stupid stuff, I tell you. It seems so dishonest and untrustworthy. I think a lot of wedding-related price markups have to do with the vendor feeling like if something isn't expensive enough, it'll be seen as too cheap for a wedding, since most people buy into the Wedding Industrial Complex and like to spend as much as they can on their Special Day (barf).
We thought about prevaricating a bit when beginning to talk to vendors, but then we realized that they aren't stupid: they're going to figure it out. They've probably had these conversations millions of times. And then you suddenly have this relationship that's built on lies and half truths, and really, what good does that do anyone? Just tell the truth--either something works for you, or it doesn't. If you need a better price, see if the vendor can work with you and your different price. If they can't, well, maybe you need to rethink your grand idea. Part of the reason we decided to change our reception place was due to catering restrictions and cost. It was a hard decision, and one we struggled with, but ultimately, we'll hopefully be happier (and have more money for other things). That's what it's about--finding what works for you and making it happen. It might take a bit more elbow grease, it might cause a few stupid fights (...), but as long as you're honest with the vendors and honest with each other, it'll work out. This wedding stuff is serious business, after all.
U-turn Ahead
Today we potentially made a big u-turn in our planning process. We've been wrestling with the idea of catering since booking the Shoreline Center, since the East Bay Regional Parks District (EBRPD) has a list of required caterers, and are reluctant to shell out large amounts of money for a reception that will be only a few hours long.
So, if it all works out, we may soon scrap the Shoreline Center in favor of a closer location (one on the Mills College campus). The bonuses are obvious, once we really started thinking about it. It's still a beautiful location, but it's walkable from the chapel (or, for the older folks, driveable WITH parking right outside). It's easier to convince people of the informality when the reception is close at hand, so there's less of an expectation (one hopes) of grand gestures. We can really just have cake and maybe a few small things, plus drinks, and it's less of a letdown (if it was ever a letdown) because of the proximity to the chapel. One of the things we realized about going from the campus to the Shoreline Center is that it creates the illusion of a more formal reception, because there's the travel time in between. We aren't about formal. We also realized that we don't NEED to have particularly heavy hors d'oeuvres, since the reception is only three hours long!
So, the summary of this post is this: Changing venue. Why? Catering minimums too maximum.
Why NOT a Courthouse, a cake, and some punch?
Well before we got engaged, I told Alan that my ideal wedding would be a quick ceremony at the courthouse, followed by some cake and punch. I wasn't entirely kidding. It's fast, it's easy, and it's cheap: three things that cue gasps and pearl-clutching among the traditional wedding planning set: "Fast?! Easy?! CHEAP?! But it's the GREATEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE AND IT MUST BE AS EXTRAVAGANT AS POSSIBLE, YOU FOOL! CUE THE DOVES!"
But we aren't doing the courthouse with a cake and punch deal afterwards. We're not doing it for really just one main reason, sprinkled with smaller reasons, and that one main reason is family. It's important to both of us that our families be there (they have to meet sometime!), and both of us are the last to get married out of our siblings, who didn't necessarily all have traditional American weddings themselves.
It's going to be what we want, though, and everyone else be (at least a little) damned. The reception will be relaxed and easygoing, god willing, the ceremony short and sweet. It's definitely so far been and is going to continue to be a challenge to (time for a bit of drama) DEFY SOCIETAL EXPECTATIONS and make it what we want (end drama), but we are nothing if not stubborn.
Although, I'd be lying if I said we never wistfully dream of just a courthouse, a cake, and some punch.
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